


Full Circle

by Christian_Rose_99384



Series: Ereri One-Shots [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm proud of this, M/M, Memories, Poetic, Reincarnation, sort of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-16 06:44:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11248452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Christian_Rose_99384/pseuds/Christian_Rose_99384
Summary: “Do you believe in reincarnation?”“I don't know. I never have known what I believe. Why?”“Because I believe that in a past life I loved you just as much as I did now… I think that I was meant to find you. It may seem ridiculous, but when we first met, you were so goddamn familiar. Kind of like looking into a broken mirror; you know that person in the reflection, but it’s so distorted and broken up with the little images hidden between the cracks that are so hard to make out that you just can’t be sure... I think we knew each other before now and I think we’re both just really scared to find out why we seek out open fields and sky because we don’t feel safe when we can’t see a few miles in all directions. Why we think high up places are calming and easy to be in while most tend to be afraid of them. Why we both experience night terrors we can't remember, but both feel the same after each one... Like we’ve died.”“You're much better at this than me... You just put everything I've felt for years into words with little to no effort.”“Oh.”





	Full Circle

The grass in the field smelled of fresh apples. The wind shook the falling leaves from their branches, falling to the ground to lay atop the meadow of green and splashed colors of wild flowers. Multicolored birds worked fast, chirping and squawking joyfully as they all played through the branches. A small creek hidden away from the rest of the world could be heard as the waters rolled over rocks and moss, the trickling and bubbling calming to the ear. 

 

A beautiful cycle, a cycle of life and death. The trees turn naked as the animals thrive and collect food for the coming winter. A cruel, wonderfully beautiful circle of events that need no words to explain, and yet need years and years to truly understand. Vicious, yes, but beautiful nonetheless.

 

“Nature never stops moving… Does it?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

They didn't stop moving either. The man, Levi, all dark hair and brooding, sharpened features. The slightly younger man, barely over twenty, messy brunet hair mixed with wide green eyes. So very Eren. 

 

They fit together. They fit into this cycle, even if it wasn't blatant. 

 

“I just mean…” Eren tried, “That everything out here… It never stops. You and I could die, the world could go to shit, all of it disappear and the water would continue to roll, the seasons would still change. It's so… so...”

 

“Existentially depressing?”

 

Eren snorted, but nodded. “Yeah. That.”

 

“ _ Jesus _ , kid. You think too much. Dangerous thing.” Levi teased. Eren just smiled sheepishly.

 

They laid atop a hand knit quilt, hands clasped together as they looked up at the dusk time sky. Of course, they were both bundled in thick flannels and warm dark jeans. The chill in the air was getting sharper, but neither of them cared. They were where they were comfortable, even if they did have to get up at some point. For now, they’d just watch sky fade from blue to orange, and from orange to navy as the world above became littered with stars. 

 

“Do you believe in reincarnation?”

 

Levi turned his head to look at the messy haired kid, confusion seeping into his features. 

 

“Eren, I don-”

 

“ _ Levi _ .” Eren warned. “Do you believe in reincarnation?”

 

Levi sighed, “I don't know. I never  _ have  _ known what I believe. Why?”

 

“Because I believe that in a past life I loved you just as much as I did now…” Eren paused, his head lolling to the side so he could look at Levi who seemed to be avoiding looking back at him.

 

Eren didn't mind, his hand just got tighter around Levi’s.

 

“I think that I was meant to find you. It may seem ridiculous, but when we first met, you were so goddamn familiar. Kind of like looking into a broken mirror; you  _ know _ that person in the reflection, but it’s so distorted and broken up with the little images hidden between the cracks that are so hard to make out that you just  _ can’t _ be sure.” Eren sighed, looking back up to the nighttime sky. 

 

Now he felt his chest clenching, tight around his lungs and heart. 

 

“I think we knew each other before now and I think we’re both just really scared to find out why we seek out open fields and sky because we don’t feel safe when we can’t see a few miles in all directions. Why we think high up places are calming and easy to be in while most tend to be afraid of them. Why we  _ both _ experience night terrors we can't remember, but both feel the same after each one... Like we’ve died.”

 

Levi sighed heavily, closing his eyes as he rolled over onto his side to face Eren. “You're much better at this than me.”

 

Levi’s eyes opened, meeting green with an intense expression that held deep sadness, but love mixed inside. Harder to see, but very much there.

 

“You just put everything I've felt for years into words with little to no effort.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Silence. Comfortable silence fell around them, Levi with his blank stares and content sighs as he  lifted his unheld hand to run the tips of his fingers through Eren’s hair. 

 

“I don't want to remember. Or even try. I don't care about what weird things make me afraid. I know those memories are best left dead.” Levi soon muttered, not stopping his gentle movements as he watched chocolate strands fall between his fingers. 

 

“I feel the same.” Was Eren’s soft response. 

 

“Good.”

 

Eren’s head turned and their lips met for a moment, causing Levi’s fingers to still. Just a brush of pink flesh, the ghost of a kiss, but meaning more than any words could explain. 

 

“I love you, you know.” The brunet whispered against Levi. 

 

“Mhm.”

 

“You love me too, right?”

 

“I do.”

 

Eren looked up to the sky again, hand squeezing around Levi’s paler, smaller one for just a moment. 

 

“Then- then I think I'll be fine never knowing what those memories are. I'm happy here. We have our friends, our families, our lives… We have each other. Past doesn't matter anymore. Never has, really.”

 

“That's good.”

 

“Mhm.”

 

“I think the same thing, Eren… I love you.”

 

Eren tried to hide the happy smile when rare words were spoken, but he failed, and as it turned out, Levi was smiling softly, too. 

 

No, the past  _ didn't  _ matter anymore. 

 

The cycle of life had taken place, and it didn't matter to Eren or Levi what their shared past had held for them. 

 

The quick flashes of green and glints of metal spattered in red. 

 

The odd phobia of seeing large dental displays or finding any type of overgrown humanoid frightening and anxiety inducing. 

 

The rare good dreams of simply zipping through the sky, the sound of whirring air and metal loud in their heads. 

 

“What do you remember of it, though?”

 

“I remember my mother didn't live. Neither did Izzy nor Farlan. Most of the people I love were dead then.” Levi explained, a frown on his face. “You?”

 

“I killed my own dad. My mom died… somehow… I am not sure. I also remember food that was disgusting.” Eren sighed, scooting closer to Levi. “I wouldn’t want to remember more than that. If that’s what I remember without trying, there can’t be that many good things to look back on.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Depressing? Yes. This all was incredibly depressing to think about, but in the end, they didn’t mind. It had been a terrible life, then, but now they have a chance to leave that behind and be  _ happy _ . 

 

Some things in the cycle are best left to fade away into history, not to be forgotten, exactly, but not to be continuously renewed. 

 

If Eren and Levi and continued to remember more through time, that’s okay. They simply would not seek out those memories, one’s that were no longer necessary. All they needed was one another and the life they shared now. The one where they had a three-legged golden retriever named IHop that ate their socks and tore up the garden much to Levi’s displeasure. Their shared life where Eren was woken up by soft sobs, then he would roll over and hold Levi tight until the night terror faded away. 

 

“I’m happy, Eren.”

 

Eren responded a few moments later.

 

“Me too, Levi. Me too.”

 

A cycle always comes full circle. Starts somewhere and finds its end, never the same and never truly repeating itself. The circle of this cycle found its end here, at happiness and connection and  _ love _ . 

 

At chilly nights at dusk in the fall.

 

At the men holding hands with small smiles on their faces as they decide all they need is now. That all they need is the present moment of watching the darkened sky, staring at the moon that hung up high. 

 

They were happy right there. Right where they were meant to be in the year twenty-seventeen, in late September, laying on a handmade quilt, watching the night sky and wondering just how they got there. Not really caring, though, not when Levi stood up and held his hand out to Eren. 

 

“Let’s go home, Eren.”

 

Not minding the nip in the air as they walked to the beat up old pickup truck that Eren had driven since high school. 

 

They were happy. 

 

After everything… Neither of them could wish for anything more.

 

“Yeah, let’s go home.”

 

 


End file.
